My Vocal Journey: Trying to Be Who Others Heard Me To Be
I had always loved musical theater, rock, pop and country music since I was a kid. I infamously knew all the words to “Lovely Ladies” from Les Miserables when I was 4 and would sing the inappropriate lyrics without abandon, much to my father’s chagrin. However, once I entered college on a vocal scholarship, I was immediately labeled as a “lyric soprano”. I was discouraged from ever belting and told I should concentrate on learning traditional, Golden Age, leading lady repertoire. This…did not fit my personality. I am a goofball. I am awkward. I am not graceful. I felt at odds with this diagnosis from the start, greatly missing my comedic abilities and feeling saddened by having to play the more serious roles.
After transferring to a different university, I was cast in an opera production and told that, because I could sing classical repertoire, THAT was the direction I should go. This felt even more at odds with my personality and, worse, my own musical preference. I only listened to opera when I had to learn a role. However, pop and rock music continued to move me. Sadly, I was unable to fully sing that type of repertoire and so, because I could, I continued down the classical track.
Once at Manhattan School, I knew I had made a mistake. My voice felt continually “tight” singing lyric soprano arias that felt impossible to achieve. Nothing came naturally and nothing came passionately. Everything felt like work. The joy I once felt singing lessened day by day.
One day, I wandered into a karaoke bar on 14th Street (shout out to Planet Rose!) and sang some musical theater songs for fun. Immediately, I felt “myself” again. Those songs turned into Karen Carpenter, Carole King, and Carly Simon songs…beautiful, rich altos I had always admired. Soon, I was drawing a crowd. I had never sang these songs for an audience before and the reception was intoxicating (as were the $4 happy hour drinks, ayooo!). Before I knew it, I began going once a week to experiment with different types of music, singers, styles and decades. I quite literally taught myself how to belt at a karaoke bar. Later, of course, I went to teachers who specialized in safe belting to make sure I could sustain this type of singing forever! But, I had found my joy in singing again. My “true voice” identifies with lower, rich, warm sounds and I am actually a mezzo soprano. My heart resonates with R&B, the blues, soul, Motown, rock n’ roll, pop, and country music (shout out to all the Black artists who brought us all of the above music!). I am so grateful to have discovered my true voice (essentially my true self) after trying to fit into a mold that always felt uncomfortable.
What kind of music hits you right in your guts? What moves you? Which singers give you chills? What song do YOU sing without abandon? Those are your clues into your true voice. Those are the musical keys to your soul.